Want To Have A Softer Memory Foam Mattress? Here Are 5 Ways To Do It Correctly

Want To Have A Softer Memory Foam Mattress? Here Are 5 Ways To Do It Correctly


Spending 1/3rd of our lives on an uncomfortable mattress is not worth it! Life is too short to be sleeping on a mattress that feels like a bench more than a cloud. Don’t you agree? 

Sleep is a luxury when combined with the right type of mattress, neither too soft, nor too firm, but just perfect. Buying a mattress that will provide proper justice for the money spent is like finding an oasis in the middle of a dessert!

But, for you, the story could be slightly different. Maybe you have already gone through the hassle of buying a new mattress but it turns out that your mattress is too firm. Everything must have been fine until you found that you were waking up with a dead limb each morning.

So, what now? Should you consider the toughest job of chucking your new bed? Was your new bed a waste of money, time and energy?

No, not yet.

Maybe your bed is just new and needs a tad bit more time to soften. In which case, you will be satisfied with your bed in a couple of days. But, if your mattress, as you find out, is a wrong match for you, the returning process can be painstaking.

Do not decide so fast, because we understand your situation and are here to help you with a guide on ‘making your mattress softer.’ So, we are here to salvage the situation and aid you have your dream sleep.

We promise that by the end of the guide, you will be able to fall calmly into the hands of the sleeping Goddess without having to toss and turn on your firm mattress. Ready? Let’s get going.

How to know if your mattress is too firm?


Firmness is honestly a relative term. Firmness hugely depends on an individual’s body type and weight. It also highly relates to the feel of the person when he lays on the mattress. Firmness is also all about the opinion of a person.

What might be too soft or too firm for one person, can be a perfect fit for another. Keeping this in our mind library, let’s proceed to understand the four important factors that indicate whether a mattress is too firm for you. They are:

1. Spinal alignment

Why is firmness associated with spinal alignment? Let’s get to the root of the answers. Since our spines have a slight natural curve, they are subconsciously aligned as per the curve when we are going on about our day.

But the scenario changes when we try to close our eyes after a long day's sleep. During sleep, our muscles tend to relax and the body relies on the sleeping mattress for spinal alignment.

A comfortable mattress will naturally support the curves of the spine. And the opposite situation would be where you wake up with serious backaches and pains as a result of the extreme firmness of the mattress.

If your mattress is not aiding or comforting the natural curve of your spine and is of no help to relieve your pressure points, then you may have to check for the firmness of the mattress.

2. Sleeping position

Based on the sleeping position, the bar of firmness may vary. Sleeping positions play a vital role in deciding a certain type of firmness level. According to beddingplanet.com, side sleepers are more comfortable with soft mattresses.

Soft mattresses conform better to the pressure points in the shoulder and the hips. Also, your arm that goes underneath your body doesn’t get limp. Whereas a back sleeper might have the chance to choose between a myriad of options. But a medium firmness level could be a better option for them. Did we leave behind stomach sleepers? 

No, here’s something about stomach sleepers as well. They find a firm mattress more comfortable because a medium-firm or firm mattress will prevent the hips and pelvis from sinking, thus preventing an unnatural curve.

So, what type of sleeper are you? This question helps you to better understand if your mattress is too firm or too soft

3. What about your sleeping partner?

Do you sleep with your partner? The individual preferences of both you and your partner should be taken into consideration when buying a new mattress. As we mentioned earlier, no people are the same. So, even if you find your mattress comfortable, it might not be the case with your partner. In which case a medium-firm mattress can suit well for both of you.

4. Body-weight

Bodyweight is a good indicator of how soft or firm the mattress should be to have a comfortable sleep. While a heavy person sinks deeper inside a soft mattress a less heavy person may feel left behind on a soft mattress or can have a ‘pushed on the top’ feel from a firm mattress. 

So, your weight lets you find out whether your mattress is too firm for you. If you think you are sinking too much into your mattress, maybe your mattress is softer and has more plush. But if you sink less and don't find the mattress supporting and conforming to your body, your bed might be too firm.

All the above-listed factors may solve your questions regarding the firmness level of your mattress. Also, if you are waking up with shoulder, back and neck pain or even tired after getting the right amount of sleep, your mattress could be either too firm (in which case continue reading to know the potential solution for your problem) or maybe your mattress is too new and has to be ‘broke in’ to make it softer.

How to make your memory foam bed softer


Apply pressure

Here’s the thing, applying gentle pressure through hands, knees or general bodyweight to the upper surface of the mattress is a great way to ‘break in’ your new memory foam mattress and render it soft.

You can carefully apply gentle pressure all through the surface of the mattress for about ten to thirty minutes. You can do the process every day until you see the results. But the general rule of thumb is to continue the process for up to 30 to 60 days.

But be careful when you are applying the pressure. Do not, by any chance, apply concentrated pressure like standing for too long on the mattress. This can cause indentations in the memory foam, further harming or disturbing the potentiality of comfort and much worse, can also void the warranty provided by the company.

So, let’s now discuss the 4 simple techniques(controlled pressure sleep trial application system) to soften up your memory foam mattress.

    1. Rolling - It’s a pretty simple and enjoyable process. By rolling on your mattress, you help the fibres of the foam get loosened up along with the mattress cover. This process ensures that the pressure is not concentrated on one spot but is dissipated equally across the mattress.
    2. Pushing - Encourage the fibres to relax by pushing the mattress using both palms. The compression should be around 1 to 2’’ in depth across the entire surface to make sure you even out the pressure applied.
    3. Massaging - Massage the mattress by rolling your palms gently across the surface of the mattress. It’s just as we get a massage to relax our bodies. The technique ensures to relax the fibres of the foam. Just be cautious that you do not do this roughly which might deform the foam.
    4. Kneeling - You can either choose to kneel on particular spots that you feel are firmer than other areas to force the fibres to relax, or you can just walk across your mattress in kneels to soften the surface (However do not stand in a particular area for too long as it can once again cause indents).

Use a mattress topper

Buying a new mattress may not be an affordable option. So, why not opt for a mattress topper? This is more cost-effective and a better way to convert your firm mattress to a softer one. There are various types of mattress toppers available in the marketplace including those made from cotton, wool, latex, memory foam or even feather (goose down).

Each mattress topper comes with a different density and thickness to better contour your body shape and relieves pressure points. As per the individual preference, the mattress topper can be used to add firmness or soften the bed.

We recommend that you go for goose down, wool or a 2-inch memory foam topper to make your sleeping surface feel plush and soft. Do not buy a Dunlop latex topper (known for superior comfort) which can increase the firmness of the mattress.

Also, if you are a sensitive sleeper, avoid egg crate style toppers that come with too much texture. We do not want you to get a mattress pad and suffer about it not being thick or plush enough. So, always go for mattress toppers.

Watch your thermostat

Memory foam mattresses, even those without fibreglass, are temperature sensitive (which means the memory foam conforms to the body and can retain the body heat). A freezing temperature can make the memory foam mattress shrink. This means the mattress becomes harder and uncomfortable for the sleeper.

To prevent this scenario, you can just opt to warm your room to a temperature between 66 to 67 degrees and thus warm up your mattress. The memory foam mattress absorbs heat and softens up as a result. 

Also, go for a heated blanket or use flannel sheets to increase the plush, the warming effect and the comfort. So, adjusting the thermostats is a great option to make your memory foam feel softer and conforming to the body.

Flip or rotate your mattress

Is your mattress flippable? If yes, you can try flipping the mattress to the other side to see if the other side is softer. Some mattress companies offer different firmness levels on each side of the mattress. Flipping or rotating your mattress seasonally is a good action that prevents sagging or even permanent indentations.

Also, rotating the bed to 180 degrees will change the spots that support your head, shoulders, hips and feet. Or just flip the mattress to put the top side down. Though, this option doesn’t work for pillow-top beds. But this can’t be the case with many memory foam mattresses.


Note that many mattress companies recommend waiting for 60 days for the mattress to become softer. The most common break-in period is 30 to 60 days. Henceforth, don’t worry if your new mattress feels too firm. 

Give it the recommended period to break in. But if you want to speed up the process you can apply gentle pressure across the surface of the mattress for a few minutes each day. You can do this by walking on your knees, rolling across the mattress, or even pushing certain firmer areas of the mattress.

These activities will rather soften the bed quickly when compared to just sleeping on the bed every night. If you have kids in the home, let them play around a bit on the mattress. This will make sure that with time, your mattress will automatically break in and become more soft and relaxed.

How long does it take for the mattress to get softer?


According to one study, most memory foam mattresses need 7 to 60 nights of continuous use to get softer. So, it is not that you have to wait endlessly for the results to be visible. Memory foam mattresses need a period to adapt to the body shape, body weight and dominant sleeping position of the sleeper.

The fibres present inside the mattress require the recommended time to relax and lose up. Although the most amount of softening occurs during the first 7 nights, you can opt to accelerate the process by trying any of the above steps.


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